Cycling

The seasons are changing, spring is coming. Plus some stress at work. And now, I'm cycling.

In the mornings I am so down, I hardly get out of bed. Then as the day progresses, I start to feel agitated and irritible, until I think I am going to jump out of my skin. The only thing that soothes me is driving- as long as there is no traffic.

At night, I don't want to go to bed. But with the help of Ambien, eventually I do. Only to start the whole thing over again the next day.

Stop being stubborn girl, raise your meds! I know what I need to do, I just don't want to do it. But I will, tonight, because this can't go on.

At least I know I don't have to do my light therapy anymore this year! I do it all winter. And then, late March or the beginning of April, my mood shifts, and I know that it is over for the year. Some years I get a few days of mild happy hypomania, but no such luck this year. I'm just miserable.