Something that Works

There are very few things that feel pleasurable when severely depressed. Eating ice cream is one of them- sometimes the only thing I can eat. Sometimes TV helps to take my mind off of things, but it doesn't really do that much. If my depression is too bad, I don't even like music. Sex can go either way, depending. If I am depressed enough, no.

Well, I think I hit the jackpot yesterday. Something that isn't even bad for you (except it is expensive). I had a second massage scheduled yesterday. I was so depressed I didn't think I could go, but I did. And it was wonderful.

You just have to lie there, while someone works on you. It is heaven. To be depressed it so be passive, so it works really well. You don't have to do anything. For 60 minutes, I wasn't depressed. And afterwards, I was much less depressed for the rest of the evening.

So even deeply depressed, I can enjoy a massage. I haven't lost all ability to feel pleasure. That is good to know. There is something in out there that works, and something in me that can respond. Even if it doesn't last, that is worth something.