Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Today was (very slightly) better

I am on day 2 of increased Wellbutrin, and feel a tiny bit better. But really, it has to get better than this. But I have to give it more time, I know. I am not very patient.

I called my psychiatrist to make a appointment- progress. But the week I want he is on vacation, so it will have to wait. Why do all doctors go on vacation in August?  Is it some kind of rule? The surgeons that we work with are all going on vacation now too.

I am going to break down and call my therapist (well, technically now ex-therapist), and try to get back in. Maybe it will help.

Exercise: I'm giving up on it, at least for this week. If I can make it to work each day, not kill myself or anyone else, then I have done more than can be expected of me. Really, sometimes I think that if my pain were physical, they would give me morphine.

I am getting really tired of feeling a little bit better, being a little bit more functional, a little more dry eye'ed. When is life not going to suck? When am I going to feel joy? Be glad that I am alive?

Meanwhile, I am trying to decide if I am more tired or more hungry. No food in the apartment except for a bit of left over Chinese food that I ate as soon as I got home (I had no lunch). I am still hungry. But really don't want to go out. Which force will win?

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