Just when I thought my meds were set

I have been doing really well recently. I am trying to resist all urges to lower meds because I am in a really good place, and I don't want to lose this. Maybe in the future. For now, I just need this.

Except that it seems more and more like my overseas source for my Provigil is no longer reliable. And I don't know what I am going to do. It is a really expensive medication, and in recent years I haven't done well on amphetamines, which would be the logical alternative. My insurance company has very strict criteria for Provigil coverage which I do not meet. They denied me for both Provigil and Nuvigil.

Provigil has gone generic, but the price in the US is still pretty high. I take two 200mg pills. The cheapest price I can find is $344/pill, with a coupon- and I am assuming I could get that coupon every month. Maybe not. That is $688 a month.

I have about 3 months worth of Provigil left, I can only hope that the price will continue to drop, and will do so significantly in that time period. I have tried cutting down on my Provigil before, but never felt good. I could afford 1 pill a day maybe. I'm paying $100/month right now. I'm sure it will be a long time before it gets that cheap in the US.

I was just starting to feel financially secure. I was paying off debts. Making plans to move from my efficiency apartment into a full one bedroom. Not going to happen.

I think, maybe I should try lowering my Zyprexa and see if I need less Provigil to function on a lower dose of Zyprexa. I think maybe I should try a stimulant again and hope it doesn't give me anxiety and tachycardia. (I had thought of taking a beta blocker for the tachycardia, but the one time I was on a beta blocker I had swollen ankles and chest pain). There really aren't good options. And then I think that maybe the antipsychiatry people are right. I just don't want to be on meds, if for no other reason than because I don't want to be in this vulnerable position.

I am just frustrated. Maybe my psychiatrist will have some ideas. I think last time I brought this up he mentioned one of the new amphetamines.