All morning I felt kind of sleepy and drugged- not a good feeling. But then in the afternoon I started feeling really anxious and irritable. But the last thing I was going to do was take klonopin the way I was feeling. So I just dealt with it, but I didn't like it.
I didn't want to go to yoga. I tried not to think about it- because when I thought about it, it just seemed like it was going to be too hard. And I kept thinking it would be all the harder because I hadn't been there in a while. So I just tried not to think about it.
I did go, and it was a good class. Not anywhere as hard as I had imagined- this is one case in which my thoughts were worse than reality. Although it could have been a tougher class, some times it is. It just wasn't today. It was good to be there, and I am glad that I went.
Tomorrow I see my therapist for the first time in like a month- between the holidays and me cancelling due to being too depressed to go. I wonder what I will talk about.
I'm glad things are improving. It's hard for me to remember sometimes what it is like to just get depressed because that is so rare for me, but it is so terrible. All I ever have to do to remember is to think back to going off imipramine so I could go onto Emsam. It was horrible.Every phase of bipolar has it's own monsters and although I usually am mixed depression predominates but that straight depressed feeling is a nightmare.
ReplyDeleteHope it continues to improve, one little thing at a time (which I get so impatient with).