Snow Day

I was determined to go to work today. Hey, I used to live in Buffalo, what is a little snow?

But I got stuck in my driveway. My landlord had not plowed the parking lot and very long drive way at 7:30 am, and I got stuck. I tried putting cardboard under the wheels which didn't do that much- I still couldn't make it either to the road or back to my parking spot. I was stuck.

He is only plowing now- and it is my early day, so there isn't much point to going it. I cancelled all of my patients and I am staying home, although it seems pretty silly to be staying home when it isn't even snowing anymore. I feel guilty, but it is also nice to have an unexpected day off.

I think I need new tires. Or better tires. Or maybe it is just that my Civic, much as I love it, isn't as heavy as my last car was. I can't believe I got stuck.

But another day at home is good- another day for my brain to get used to less Zyprexa- which I have to say is going well.  My mood is actually improving and I have been able to do my paperwork much better.

One of the side effects listed I have seen for Zyprexa is euphoria. And I think that after a dose increase I do feel a little of that. But then it wears off. And it did wear off after that last increase- after maybe 2-3 months. But the euphoria makes me feel a little lighter- without it antipsychotics pull me down. And when the Zyprexa euphoria wore off it was pulling me down- which made me depressed. So it is time to go back down.

Do I just want to get back to 5mg? Do I want to try to go lower again? I don't know. For now, just 5mg. I do know that is the lowest my psychiatrist would prefer that I go- the FDA approved lowest dose for bipolar. But sometimes I think I could do 3.75mg. 2.5mg has never worked.