I think I even went home with clay in my hair

I went to my first pottery class today. My first time using the wheel- I took pottery lessons as a kid but never got to the wheel. It was not easy- and frustrating at times- but it was fun. And fun to go home covered in clay.

I was the only beginner- everyone else had been doing it for a long time, and had their own projects that they were working on- really impressive stuff. I had to push back some negative thoughts and try to be mindful as I tried to figure out how to make the clay on the wheel do what I was supposed to make it do. Two times I really failed, and had to start over. I now have one bowl- although not quite in the shape that I was supposed to make it in. That is for next time.

Once making pots and such out of clay would have been a useful skill. Technology has made so much of what we do kind of pointless. I can go to the store and buy any sized container that I need. What once would have been a useful skill for survival is now a recreational activity or an art form.

I am glad that I am seeing my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I continue to feel better today, but I am frustrated by how sleepy I am. I don't know if I should stay on the increased Zyprexa, or if I should use it at the higher dose episodically- and if so, how much longer I should stay here before I go down. I know that he may not have the answers, but at least I can discuss it with him. And I want to find out about re-trying Lunesta- am I really going to be that impaired the next day as the FDA is saying? I don't think 1mg is going to be enough for me, and I will need a higher dose. I think last time I tried it I took 3mg.