"Opposite to emotion action" is a DBT strategy for managing moods. What I should be doing is getting some exercise. I know that is what my body needs. And probably what my brain needs. But anxiety is kicking my butt today, and I am staying in.
I am trying not to take much klonopin- as I think that some of this anxiety may be a rebound effect from what I took last night to get to sleep. I just took a quarter of a milligram this afternoon, and I will talk a quarter of a milligram tonight. And if I don't sleep- maybe that will just have to be what it is. I do have some melatonin, however, that I just got. I am going to try that tonight as well. Sometimes I think it has made me depressed- I have never been sure- but I am going to give it another try.
I am doing online window shopping. I am going to two Bat Mitzvahs this summer- and I really have no fancy summer clothes. All my fancy clothes seem to be black or very dark. I did have one summer skirt but the elastic finally went and I had to get rid of it. So I am looking for something to wear- which is not easy when you are plus-sized. It is really hard to find anything plus-sized in the stores near me, unless I want to drive a long way away. So I usually shop online. But I can't find a dress I like- all the dresses seem to be sleeveless and/or "maxi" dresses- which go down to the ankle. I don't want these things.
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I've been trying to get pajamas for the hospital that will not pull down in the front when used with crutches. I'm short in the chest anyway; I can't wear v-necks because they are exposing. But Kohls, the only place I really shop (although I tried 3 other stores this time) has had exactly what I wanted but not in plus sizes. I could order plus sizes but to avoid paying shipping I had to go to Kohls and order from their kiosk. Then the pajamas wouldn't fit and so I returned about 12 pairs. The 2nd 6 the woman asked if something was wrong. I told her yes, that they don't carry many items in plus sizes making it impossible to try them on without ordering them and creating a lot of extra work for everyone. She did not say more.
Just me
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