I'm doing better

I think what really helps is going outside during lunch and eating my lunch in my car- listening to music, reading, etc. I was even reading hand therapy stuff yesterday- I have to remind myself sometimes why I am doing all of this paperwork. I really do think that what I do is really cool.

Of course this means not doing notes during lunch- so I stayed an hour late today doing notes. I am still behind, but it is getting better. If I could just stay an hour late every day, I might be okay. Maybe. I know I will need to go in this weekend.

Yesterday I didn't even need klonopin in the afternoon. Today I started to feel just a little bit anxious- I took the Chinese herbs that I have been given, and that was enough. He told me to take it three times a day, but I only take it once in the afternoon, and only if I think I need it and that it will be enough to not need the klonopin. If I am really anxious, it is not enough. I wonder if it is more than placebo. The herbs he gave me for sleep, however, I think are more than placebo- they are strong. I take all of my meds, I go to bed, I can't sleep. I get up- take them- and then I fall asleep fairly quickly. And that has been 3 nights.

Tomorrow is one of my late days- which is when I usually struggle. I will go for a walk in the morning, before it gets hot, then go in early to do notes. After work there is a depression and bipolar support group that is about a half hour drive away. I have not been very successful in getting myself there. If I don't leave exactly on time I will be late. I hate being late. Plus I am usually tired.

I want to go to bed- but I am trying to stay up a little longer so that I am more likely to fall asleep and to sleep through the night. Going to bed too early messes up my sleep.