My expensive day

I finally went to Costco to fill my Provigil prescription. I was totally out- I have been rationing this week. It is an hour drive almost each way, and I just can't get myself to go after work- and I have been away on weekends recently.

So I spent $275 on my Provigil. And $205 on groceries, toilet paper, and toothpaste. But I am pretty set for the month. I will have to go to the grocery store for milk, fresh produce (I can't eat enough to get through one of their containers before it goes bad), and a couple of items that either Costco doesn't sell or I want to buy smaller quantities of.

I expected decreasing the Provigil to make me tired and depressed- which is what it has done in the past. But yesterday I felt so numb, so unbelievable numb. I almost decreased my lithium, I thought I have to do something. But then I didn't. Today I only had half my Provigil in the morning- which was a problem- it made it hard to get out to go get more Provigil! I napped for a while and drank more coffee before I finally did it. And then, like a drug addict, immediately took my Provigil in the parking lot.

Yesterday I picked up my meds at the local hospital pharmacy. I have finally managed to get my psychiatric meds and primary care meds to refill at the same time. And I get three months of meds at a time. The bag they gave me was so big that I could have used a shopping bag!

I hate taking all of these meds. I hate that my doctor is thinking of putting me on a statin, and I am not sure about it. I think I want the blood test that tells you the particle size of your LDL. Supposedly if your triglycerides are super low, like mine, usually the LDL have large particle size, and are not so bad.