I had one of those rare good days- when my mood was good, I could concentrate, I felt physically good, and I had energy. That is pretty rare. I want to hold on to these days- I try to figure out what I did differently and how to repeat it- but I really don't know. Still, they go to my head- and make me wonder what kind of life I might be capable of, if only I can have more days like this.
Tomorrow I start my DBT group. I am hoping that this is what I need. What I haven't decided is if I will continue with therapy while I am doing the group. I hope not to- because neither the group nor my therapist take insurance, and I no longer have out of network benefits. But my therapist said that sometimes DBT groups say that you have to be in individual therapy- she doesn't know how this one would work.
If I am going to need individual therapy long term, I will eventually change therapists to someone who takes my insurance. But my current therapist knows DBT, so I don't want to change now in case I need a therapist. I am hoping that after DBT I can stop therapy.
I have lousy insurance. I guess most people do these days- but mine is pretty bad. Not as bad as some of the Obamacare policies, I guess- with even higher deductibles and even narrower networks- but I was spoiled. I work in healthcare. It used to be in healthcare you had good insurance.
I mostly have just numb days (when I'm not having a dark day). Occasionally I'll have a good day, but I never trust it because I know the sadness is still there, just waiting, and I still can't identify my triggers.
ReplyDeleteI'm hoping to go to a support group tomorrow evening. I'm not an open person, so this may not work, but I want to give it a try.