Friday, March 13, 2015

I quit therapy

I had been down to every other week due to financial reasons. It was feeling increasingly less relevant. I think I kept going for a little while because it felt like I was DOING SOMETHING, even though it really wasn't. And the thought of quitting therapy felt too much like giving up on trying to make my life better. But it really isn't. It just means that I am using one less means of trying to improve my life. Hopefully this will give me more energy to put into other ways.

And in the end it came down time my energy, my limited amount of time outside of work, and money of course. I'd like to use those for other things. What this doesn't mean is that everything is better- of course it does not. It just means I want to deal with things without therapy. I want to focus on what I can do to make my life better and not have that distraction.

It actually feels kind of liberating- as if in that one evening a week I was defined by mental illness. And now that is gone. Except that I know the mood swings will continue, as they do. I guess that will have to be okay.

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