Missing my mom today

Maybe it is the mother's day ads that I am starting to see, and the ones that pile up in my in box. Maybe it is nothing at all. I keep thinking of things that I wanted to do with my mom, things that we never got to do. And now never will. Perhaps I should try to do those things anyway. But I miss her. 

I did finally make it to Costco and got my Provigil. But I think it is too late in the day to take it. It will have to wait until tomorrow. And straighten out my lithium tomorrow too. As well as going in super early to get my paperwork done from last week. Of course. 

Another weekend that has passed and I really didn't do much. It just passed. Or I could think of it this way: another weekend I survived. Sometimes I think that on my birthday: another year I survived, in my endeavor to die of old age and not by suicide. Of course with the things I have been reading recently I might be lucky to die of old age and not a side effect of abrupt climate change. 

This reading has me very depressed, and yet I was prepared for it by my earlier peak oil obsession. But surprisingly it does not make me feel suicidal- at least not for the moment. I want to see how things turn out. Simple curiosity. But if things get bad, I do not think I am very tough. I wouldn't make it in a Mad Max world.