My psychiatrist gave me a prescription for Lithobid, which is extended release. However, when I got home and looked at what the pharmacy had given me, it looked like they had given me regular, instant release generic lithium carbonate. At least that is what the label said. Oh well- I wasn't about to go back. I knew the price was too cheap. And they are not open on weekends.
So I started with a 300mg capsule last night. Which made me feel- strange. Sleepy, but I couldn't sleep- until about 4am, even though I took a klonopin. But then I napped half the day. I felt calmer. I felt less depressed, I think- but mostly I felt numb. And that feeling is still with me today. Maybe I don't care enough to feel depressed.
I don't do illegal drugs. But when I start a new drug, and I am looking a bottle of brand new pills, wondering how it is going to make me feel- I know there really isn't much difference. I am doing drugs. Let's see what this one does!
I am supposed to do 5 days at 300mg, and then go up to 600mg. I think I will have to wait until next Friday night to make the increase.
I know that meds are only half the story-my life is a mess- but my life is a mess because I have been depressed for so long. I can't fix my life if I don't fix the depression. But then, sometimes I think my life is too broken, I am too broken, that even if lithium turns out to be the wonder drug, it is too late.
But this is just day 1. I have to be a little more patient than that.
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