Wednesday, July 22, 2015

Waiting is the hardest part

My mother had her knee surgery today and it went well. Now on to the next surgery, the Whipple procedure- but that isn't until mid August. The surgeon wants my mother to get strong before the procedure and be in good shape going into the surgery. That is well and good, but I might not survive until August 17th. I just want the cancer out of her. And I want the answers that won't come until after the surgery- namely, has it spread. Is this cancer going to kill her, or will this surgery be a cure?

Meanwhile I continue to feel like I am going to collapse. I had been attributing it to stress- but now I think it is low blood sodium. It explains the headaches, the lack of concentration, nausea, the occasional muscle spasms, as well as the fatigue that makes me want to go to the ER- but takes so much energy away from me that I can't even call my doctor. I think I have been eating low sodium recently, drinking too much water between the lithium and the hot weather, plus Effexor can cause low blood sodium, and my IBS has been really bad so I have been losing fluids and possibly sodium that way.

So I dragged myself home and have been trying to eat salt. If I don't feel better soon it is probably something else.

And of course I am on the internet looking up bile duct cancer. I have to stop it. I'm no longer learning anything new. And it is so rare that there isn't even a whole lot out there. I didn't even know you could get bile duct cancer! I mean, sure, you can get it anywhere- but I had never given it a thought. I've had my breast cancer scares and I have been on my mom's case for not getting colonoscopies. But I never worried about bile duct cancer. It makes you wonder what is around the corner, and if it will be anything like what we are preparing for.

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