As if I didn't have enough drama in my personal life, I've had a lot of drama at work. Just a difficult work week with patients not doing well, etc., and having to call doctors more than in the past 2 weeks than I think that I ever have.
But I made it through the week, and no I did not quit. But I was quite grateful for the week to be over.
This week I also swallowed my pride and called my therapist- yes, the one I just quit, to go back to therapy. I will see if it helps.
And I am doing something that has me very hopeful. I read about a study conducted in South Korea in which they gave depressed women Lexapro, and then either 5 grams of creatine or a placebo as an add on. The people who got the creatine got much better, much faster. And no, they did not try the creatine by itself. That, of course, would be too radical. Much less radical to say that creatine augments antidepressants than to say that it is an antidepressant.
So I went to the local Rite Aid after work yesterday, and found some in the body building aisle (yes, there was a whole aisle for body building). I felt strange buying it- like I wanted to tell the cashier- no, I'm really taking it for depression (as one look at me will tell you that I am not a body builder).
Just what I need, another expensive supplement to add. I take too many supplements, I think. If I didn't take any medication, I don't know if I would take any supplements. But now that I am in the routine of taking pills every day, and in the mindset of "better living through chemistry," why not add on more pills to take? At least these supplements I control, and I don't need a doctor's okay or prescription for them. I like that. The downside is no insurance reimbursement.
I didn't know what to expect with the creatine. I took my first dose last evening, my second dose this morning. And I think I actually feel it. It is a little energizing, it feels good. I feel a little better. Without any of the agitation of something like wellbutrin. So I am hopeful. I just hope that this is not a temporary effect.
Also good news. I just got back the results of lab work for my physical. As someone who takes Zyprexa and is overweight, I am terrified of diabetes. But my blood sugar and A1C are still in the normal range- in fact even lower this year than last year. Something I attribute to the large dose of resverotrol I am taking, I think. Because I have been eating horrible the past few months with this depression, and it shows- my cholesterol is up. But still in the borderline high level, so hopefully my doctor is not going to try to put me on a statin come Monday.