Sunday, July 21, 2013

A double edged sword

Zyprexa can be good and zyprexa can be bad.

When I am irritable, anxious, obsessive, or have one of my "thinking depressions," nothing is better at shutting my head up and getting me out of that place. At that point I am usually pretty paralyzed by what is going on in my head, and not capable of doing very much, and anything that can get me out of that place makes it easier to act, easier to function.

But Zyprexa by its nature can by paralyzing. It can make me want to do nothing. It can take my drive away and make me less functional. Sometimes, especially at the lower doses, this is a very subtle effect, and much more obvious at the higher doses.

So it is a balancing act. Taking too much Zyprexa really defeats the purpose of taking it, which is to let me live my life. But I''m willing to take a little bit, if that also helps me to live my life. But does it? I don't know, only that trying to get off of it has been too disruptive to my life. Maybe when I retire I can get off of it! Otherwise, 5mg (possibly 3.75) seems as low as I can go without getting intractable insomnia. And that leads to mood symptoms, and it gets bad.

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