I had promised myself that after I took this really hard certification exam I would buy a kindle. Because now I would have time to read. And I didn't initially, because I was going back and forth between buying a kindle and a tablet. And then my mood went south, and buying anything became impossible, I couldn't even go into a grocery store for 4 weeks. Thank god for Wendy's drive through and their salads, it is the only way I ate any vegetables during this time.
But now I am better. At least better enough to buy my kindle. And to go to yoga last Friday, to the movies yesterday (and even to the grocery store on the way home). I'd say I am better.
Ultimately, it came down to the fact that I don't have wireless at home, I have cable for my internet home but with only 1 person I didn't spring for the wireless router. So the kindle 3G will work pretty well for me. Although it does seem like a pretty small screen size. But also, between my iphone and my lap top, I really didn't think I needed a tablet- especially because I would have to pay for a data plan.
I've signed up for yoga again on Monday. Wow.
I'm still on the higher Zyprexa. I am scared to go down again. I am feeling so much better on it. And yet, I really do not like this drug. I will, eventually get myself back down to 5mg, if not lower, but not now. I just need a little time to feel okay, and not be thinking about med adjustments. So at least for another week, I am staying at 7.5mg. Perhaps I should finish getting off of the Zonegran first. And perhaps I should wait until fall to go down on the Zyprexa- when my depressions are usually true depressions and less likely to be mixed states.
Imagine if statins caused tardive dyskinesia. They would have been pulled off the market by now. But never mind, we are just mentally ill. It's funny, there is all of this concern about getting elderly people with dementia off of antipsychotics. But you know if they are bad for this population, they are really bad for everyone. But where is the outrage with antipsychotics used for non-psychotic diagnoses other than elderly dementia?
If I had known then what I know now I would never have gone on Zyprexa. Or maybe not- I was so depressed at the time, I might not have cared. But I think it is too late for me to get off of it entirely now. But hopefully I can lower my dose.