There are times my mind goes to the past when things were really bad- and hangs out there for a while. My therapist calls it time travelling. This latest episode was triggered by my psychiatrist visit. And I was thinking of previous (very bad) psychiatrists, and of the times that I was very badly medicated, etc. Even just getting my script for half a milligram of klonopin- I mentioned that the first time I was put on klonopin it was 10mg/day during a manic episode. And so my mind went there.
It is wonderful that I am no longer in that place. And it is wonderful that people who meet me would never guess my past. And yet, sometimes it feels like there is a part of me that is not acknowledged. I think maybe that is why I haven't given up my therapist yet- there is someone who knows that part of me and where I have been.
Today has been a quiet day. I didn't have a real weekend last week because I was out of town at a course, and by Friday I was extremely tired. So today has been a lot of lying in bed, napping, reading, watching TV. Tomorrow I will be more productive. It is a three day weekend- I wish that they all were.