Saturday, February 14, 2015

A new life!

There is a new life in this world- I have a new niece. She is healthy and fine. So is her mom. I can't wait to meet her. I don't know when that will be as currently the grandparents are visiting so they have the guest room. I'd love to see my how my "older" niece reacts to her new sister.

Otherwise- just having a lazy Saturday, doing laundry and reading and napping. I woke up with a really bad headache that kind of threw off my plans for the morning. I took some naproxen and went back to bed- and slept quite a bit. I was supposed to go and get blood work done- but I think I can still go Tuesday and it will be enough time before I see my psychiatrist the following week.

I've been thinking, with my appointment coming up, do I want to change anything? Going off of the klonopin has gone pretty well. Do I want to try to lower something I take? And then I can't even pick- there are reasons to want to lower just about everything I take. And then of course reasons not to want to change a thing, especially so soon after stopping the klonopin. And going into the spring- which makes it a really bad time to try going down on the Zyprexa.

What will I do if I get springtime hypomania? I've used klonopin in the past, along with increasing my Zyprexa for a couple days if needed. I'd like to think I'm not taking klonopin ever again, but I don't want to necessarily close doors to things that have helped me to function during trying times.

Last night I had a lot of trouble sleeping- probably that's why the headache. I thought briefly about taking klonopin- and then vetoed the idea. I wondered at what point you are an addict vs. someone using a drug? And really, I have been unable to get myself off of Zyprexa after all of these years. Even though it has taken a toll on my health with severe weight gain. Maybe I do belong on a dual diagnosis unit. Of course the one time I was briefly off of Zyprexa (after an overdose) I was put back on it under duress in the hospital. I wonder how my life would have been different if that hadn't happened.

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