I hit a deer on the way to work this morning. It wasn't even a small road, and it was pretty close to the hospital. I totally didn't expect it- there was a car in front of me, I didn't see anything until the deer ran out into the road and leaped in front of my car. I slammed on the brakes- thinking it was going to be really bad- but I think that I stopped enough that the deer sort of bounced off the front of my car and to the side of the road where it staggered- and then I drove on so I don't know how bad it was hurt.
There wasn't too much of an impact on my end, but I had the weight of the car on my side. The deer probably didn't fare as well. And I found myself feeling very bad for hurting this creature, almost guilty.
But I had to get to work to treat a patient, so I really didn't totally process it. In fact, I didn't even realize at first that my car was dented- but it is. Somehow the deer managed to make sizable dents in the hood of the car. I don't understand the geometry of that. I could call my insurance company, but I am afraid of a rate increase, and I don't want to deal with it right now anyway. It is mostly cosmetic.
This afternoon, however, I crashed. I just felt really tired and exhausted and my back hurt. I left work as soon as I could, as soon as I finished with my last patient. Now I am home, snuggling under a blanket. I have to make dinner. I don't want to.
I am trying to figure out what to eat. I just had a physical, and my doctor doesn't like my cholesterol. It is a little bit unfair- if I didn't have hypertension- then an LDL under 130 would be fine. But because I do, she wants it under 100. My HDL is good. My triglycerides are good. My blood sugar is good. But my LDL is closer to 130 than 100. She doesn't know if I can get it that low without meds, she says that this is really hard- but she will give me six months to try.
I don't even know if I agree that my LDL needs to be that low- or that there is good research to support the use of statins in primary prevention in premenopausal women. I have to research this. Before I even think of going on another drug, I want to know what it would buy me in terms of preventing stroke or heart attack. Give me data.