Just thinking about family

My grandmother is 94. Her mind is not good and my mother lives with her and takes care of her. A couple of weeks ago she broke her wrist. Then last week she was in the ER again due to severe back pain- she was sent to an orthopedist. She is scheduled for an MRI next week because they can't decide if there is a new spinal fracture or if it is old from the x-ray- and it takes a while to get MRI approval from Medicare. Meanwhile she is on codeine, lidocaine patches, and still in pain.

I started wondering if she is going to make it to 95 in May. Maybe this is her time. Maybe it should be her time- she says this herself. I don't know. My mom thinks that my grandmother is depressed. My mom thinks that my grandmother will live forever.

She won't take my advice- getting some help in the home. Start now, before grandma needs it too much, so that grandma will get used to it. But she won't get anyone, I don't think she wants anyone else in the home. And this gets me so upset that I try to stay out of it a lot. Other than moving down south, there is really nothing I can do other than listen to my mom, who is really overwhelmed.

And yet, I don't know what she will do with herself when my grandmother is gone. This is her purpose. I would like her to move up here- but she won't. She has said as much. And I am the bad daughter- I will not move to be near her even if she starts to need me. I have too much keeping me in the northeast- and don't like the area she lives in. But at least she will have some family in the area if she stays.