Monday, August 19, 2013

Felt sick- went to yoga anyway

I felt really bad physically, today, especially as the day wore on. I don't know if I am coming down with something- or if there is something more serious going on with me, as I periodically think. I have had a lot of blood work that is all negative, but today I had a hand x-ray for the joint pain I have been having. And my doctor wouldn't give me the one blood test I wanted, for hemochromatosis. Perhaps if the x-rays show anything she will. Or I will just have to find another way to get tested.

But I went to yoga, although I wanted to collapse. And although it wasn't my best session, I survived, and felt a little better afterwards. It also helped with the afternoon/evening downward mood swings that I have been consistently having. I don't know what to do about those. They are really bad- and the reason I haven't been able to reduce my Zyprexa dose back to 5mg. Because if I try to lower the Zyprexa, then these mood swings become even more unbearable. 

Other than the joint pain, my physical symptoms are so non-specific. Severe, intermittant fatigue and weakness. Stomach pain- but that could be the irritable bowel syndrome. Sometimes I feel like I have a low grade fever. And pain in an increasing number of my small joints, but it comes and goes. Some people say they just want an answer. No- I want it to be something fixable! And not too terrible a cure. 

I recently found out my dad is a carrier for hemochromatosis. And so I have latched on to that. It explains a lot. And it is fixable. You just get bleed, like in the old days, to get the iron taken out of you. Well, not entirely fixable- whatever damage to joints and organs that has already been done is unlikely to reverse, but you can stop or at least greatly slow progression. 

Of course it can also cause mood symptoms, I have read. That would be incredible if I have this, and it has been causing some of my "mental illness."

But I am probably just being a hypochondriac. 

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