Monday, August 12, 2013

I still hate Mondays

Yes it was a Monday, yes I was in a terrible mood.

Sometimes I think that, on all the meds I take, I shouldn't feel this bad on a Monday morning. And then sometimes I think that this is a good thing- it means I am not too drugged to notice or to feel!

Because the purpose of meds, for me, is not to stop me from feeling. Just to help make it manageable. Unless I am drugged into a coma, I will still have bad days. But, a day made better when I was able to stop doing my work and head off to yoga class at the end of the day. And a day made better by reading my kindle this evening while eating mashed potatoes (gluten- free comfort food).

I had a lot of little and maybe not so little things today that got to me, got on my nerves. They will be there tomorrow. But tonight, I am feel.

Meds help. But so does keeping perspective. Trying to stay mindful. And telling myself that I can only do what I can only do. Wise mind, in DBT.

Tomorrow will be a better day. It won't be a Monday!

Meanwhile, Amazon has started profiling my reading habits quite seriously since I got my kindle (and crazy downloading a bunch of book). First they figured out I like sci fi, and they have been sending me lists of best selling sci fi. Then last week I got a list of best selling hi tech sci fi. Then this weekend I got a list of post-apocalyptic sci fi. They have figured me out- they already know me too well. Scary.

What I like is sci fi about earth's future. Speculative fiction, in a way. Much of it winds up being post-apocalyptic, but it doesn't have to be for me to read it. I used to like to read about space travel and aliens and all that- but that came to an end when I went to college to and studied physics and learned about relativity. I learned that first, we are not going anywhere. And secondly, neither are the aliens. So if they do exist, the speed of light limit will guarantee that we never meet.

I still do like my stories with alien and space ships, but not the same way. Not like when I was a kid.

No comments: