Friday, March 28, 2014

Being sick is a lot like being depressed

I was starting to feel some better yesterday, the trajectory was good, so I thought I'd be good for work today. And really, after getting out of a hot shower this morning, I felt pretty good. But it didn't last. I could hardly talk at work, and started coughing again. My throat hurt. And I felt tired. I didn't want to do be there or do anything. And I was afraid of getting people sick.

Coincidentally, I saw my GP after work for my 6 month appointment for my blood pressure (which was great). She said, even though this has been going on for a week, that my lungs sound fine and no antibiotics for me. It is viral. Damn. I want something with an easy fix, I don't want to just have to wait it out.

I had things to do this weekend. I think most of them won't happen. That is kind of okay, I suppose, if I feel well by Monday morning in time for work. If I don't, then I don't know what. I can't have another day in which my voice doesn't work and I am afraid to put my hands on patients.

Being physically sick is just making me see all the things I hate about myself and my life. My mood usually dives when I get sick- knowing this doesn't make it any easier. Isn't insight good for anything? Apparently not.

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