I have been really tired- not sleepy tired but physically tired and light headed, starting in early afternoon and lasting the rest of the day. I dont know what to make of it- I can only hope that it is the effect of running out of synthroid (which I finally got today), or from now taking all of my Provigil in the morning instead of breaking it up to twice a day.
But it makes me good for nothing later in the day, and it makes me worry. Not so much about my health, but rather the effect this has on my ability to have any kind of life. It is only in the mornings that I can be productive and do notes, etc. The latter half of the day is awful. The days I work evenings are truly awful. Yesterday my last patient did not show and I left early.
I suppose I have to give the synthroid some time to get back into my system. And them maybe try to splint my Provigil dose if that doesn't do anything. And then, if that doesn't work, go to the doctor. But I don't want to go to the doctor while I am still dealing with the breast biopsy stuff- one thing at a time.
And then I tell myself maybe I just need to exercise and lose weight- maybe that is catching up with me. Or maybe I just take too many meds.
Anyway, I am a year older. Google Chrome knows it is my birthday- and that is scary. I recently read a study which said that happiness in Americans is at its lowest level at the age of 47, and then it climbs back up. So in theory I have just had the most miserable year of my life and things can only get better.
I am currently reading a book on Acceptance and Commitment Theory. I need something. Maybe that- or to get back to DBT seriously. I need something. I need to change my life.