I knew yesterday might be bad after the Effexor fiasco. But even today I had such mood swings. I am starting to wonder if it is my meds going out of my system. I am going to change the way I take my Effexor. I have to look at some other meds too. I have to see if there is any way I can take Nuvigil instead of Provigil- it is smoother. I just can't do this anymore.
It is not that every moment is bad, but enough of them are. And every day I have some excuse for why I am having a bad day. There is always a reason. And so I just accept it and tell myself that maybe tomorrow will be better- and sometimes it is, but often it isn't.
Yes, I admit- I have been feeling sorry for myself today. I hate it when I do that. I am depressed enough to see how my life sucks, but too depressed to take any steps to fix it. It seems like nothing I could do would matter anyway.
Maybe I will go back to therapy. With someone who takes my insurance. I have hit my deductible- it is like hitting the healthcare lottery jackpot. Of course I had to spend $2500 to get here- but now that I am here, I might as well use it.
Enough complaining. I got my car back today, and that is a good thing. It was a lot of money- but less than they quoted me. And they even paid for the rental that I was driving for the past few days. So I am hoping it is good for another 5 or 6 years.