Why do I do it?

I still read a couple of antipsychiatry websites. I have my doubts about meds- I know they don't work as well as advertised- but I have decided that I will use them, probably for the rest of my life. It is too late to stop- not unless I want to do something drastic and take a year or two off of work. And even then there are no guarantees.

So reading all this antipsychiatry stuff does nothing but make me more miserable- which indirectly leads me to take more meds, so it really isn't helpful.

One thing that bothers me about what I read is the implication that we would all be fine if we just got off of our meds. I wasn't fine before I went on meds, going off of my meds wouldn't make things all better. I think you can argue about whether meds make things better or worse in different types of people- but people who don't take meds can be really messed up. I have several family members who haven't gone the psychiatry route and I don't want their lives. Would they have better lives is they had gotten therapy and meds? I have no idea. But you can have really dysfunctional and miserable lives without these.

I have no idea how medications work, especially antidepressants. It makes no sense that a TCA, SSRI, and Wellbutrin could all be antidepressants. Although they could have some common downstream effect. But I wonder if we are wrong in thinking of this at the biological level. Depression is an intolerable mental state. These antidepressants change your mental state- subtly, and perhaps it is through different mechanisms, but perhaps that is enough over time.

All the same, I'd prefer less meds. But as long as I am taking meds- I don't want to take less than it optimal- otherwise why take them at all if I am going to be miserable despite taking them.