I am feeling a little better today- but it could just be because I did a second night of increased Zyprexa and I don't have to work today. Tomorrow is the real test, when I go back down to my normal dose- and then go in to work and try to have a normal day. I have to to the last of my Christmas shopping, which has been particularly difficult this year.
I have been doing some thinking about what got me into the place. Unfortunately insight only goes so far if you are too depressed to make changes. I hope I am not.
I see my psychiatrist on Tuesday. I really hope I am feeling better enough by then not to want to change anything. I don't want to raise anything. And I am not confident that I could change anything and maintain my ability to work through that process. I just want this depression to go away.