I didn't realize that I would have to choose, but I think that by April I will have to choose between continuing therapy or continuing to take Provigil. I can't afford both. And I will choose Provigil- I don't think I could continue to function at the level at which I do at work without it.
I'm not sure it is entirely a bad thing to be quitting therapy. Sometimes I have found myself wondering "when I will be done" with it. How will I know? Although really I have started and stopped therapy multiple times in my life, so if things change, I might go back to it. If something comes up. I'm sure that eventually something will.
Stopping therapy does not mean that I am totally satisfied with my life and am not trying to make changes. It just means I do that on my own. Just like using mindfulness and DBT skillls- I will be doing that on my own too.
And I will still have my psychiatrist who I am currently seeing every two months or so.
Therapy is actually cheaper than my Provigil. But it will work. I will be better with money. And I will stay in this tiny apartment instead of moving.
But I have 3 months of Provigil left, so three months of therapy.