The trade-off

It is my second day of the lowered Zyprexa, I am down to 5mg from 7.5mg. I woke up and felt awake before my morning coffee. My head feels clearer. Even my depression feels better. The only thing that isn't better is my anxiety- that is a little worse. But that is the trade-off. I realize that there is no good way to medicate my anxiety without substantial trade-offs. The sedation, mental dulling, cognitive side-effects, etc. For now my anxiety is small enough that I can deal with it without more meds. That may not always be true- I am sure I will continue to have my times when I need my klonopin or more Zyprexa.

I'm trying to figure out what to do re Nuvigil or Provigil and which to stay on. Maybe a smaller amount of Nuvigil would work. I really liked the once a day dosing and fewer mood swings- but I think 250mg was too much and made me irritable (although I also needed that much on the higher Zyprexa dose). Half a pill doesn't seem like quite enough, though. But then Provigil, at the moment, is cheaper. I think. But for how long?

Next weekend I am going to write my appeal for Provigil- I have 60 days. I am guessing that they won't care what I say, but I have to do it anyway. If Provigil gets approved, I will obviously go with Provigil. I have had too much going on with my dad to do it sooner.

I wonder if there is anything that this "health coach" that my insurance company is offering me could do to help me with my appeal. "Health coach" is really misleading. They only want you to be healthy in ways that make you cheap to insure. If it helps your health to take an off label drug or to get a medical test more often than their guidelines say, you are out of luck.

I always wish weekends were three days long. Yesterday I was visiting my dad. Today I am doing laundry and I have to drive to go buy my Provigil. I also have to go into work to do notes- but I wish that could be tomorrow. Only it can't be, because tomorrow is Monday, and I will have new notes to do.