Saturday, May 12, 2012

From Zyprexa haze to a beautiful morning

Yesterday I took 10mg of Zyprexa, twice my normal dose. Which knocked me out, of course. But this morning I woke up early, feeling more peaceful than I have in weeks. Why does this peace have to come from a pill?

I won't be repeating the Zyprexa dose. At 10 mg, which I have taken in the past, I am a little too out of it. And, it is certainly not good from my brain. Interestingly, though, once I get up to 10mg the weight gaining effect levels off, or even decreases. Perhaps I am too blissed out (or numbed out) to want to eat. 5-7.5mg are the worst for me in terms of weight gain. I can't believe that there are people out there who take 20mg of this stuff. I can't begin to imagine how they function.

I suppose, though, if I regularly took 10mg, my brain would adapt. And soon it would take 20mg to get me to feel like this.

Since I have been going up on the Wellbutrin, I have had less lethargy, more energy, less depression. But also more agitation, more anxiety, and certainly no peace. I wonder how this is going to play out. Will these bad things go away?

I do wish I had just a couple more days of vacation. Enough time do do an overnighter. I could still do a day hike tomorrow, but that is it. Today I have to register my car and do some other errands that I didn't get to to this week. I just sent flowers to my mom for mothers day- thank god for FTD same day delivery.

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