I started feeling increasingly anxious and depressed as the day wore on today- despite being busy and productive at work. And I had a bunch of errands to do this evening as I am going away this weekend.
I went in to Panera bread for some soup and a sandwich, hoping to relax and feel better. I didn't. I decided to take a quarter of a milligram of klonopin. It helped.
I don't know. Should I just fight the anxiety? Try to push through on days like this? Just be miserable, and hope that in the long run it will make me a better person? Is taking the klonopin on days like this only giving me more days like this? I never know.
I think that if I take it too frequently, and give in too easily, it becomes a problem- it will actually start to affect my mood. Then again, my mood is not so good if I am taking it a lot, so I don't know which came first. But I also know that not taking it does not keep these days away, and that taking a tiny bit can be the difference between getting things done vs going home to be miserable.
And I did get a haircut, go shopping for presents for my niece, and do some grocery shopping. Not too bad for a work night for me. The only think I haven't managed to do is clean. I'm not that good. I'm going to get up early and see if I can clean a little before I leave. I get to see my niece this weekend!