I am having trouble concentrating recently- which is really what led to me going down on my meds. The problem is, it hasn't helped as much as I hoped. Sometimes I think it is even worse- because my mind is more distractible.
This is showing up the most with my paperwork- it wasn't too bad until I got sick and hurt my back and I haven't done a very good job with it since. I just can't get back in gear. What to do? How to get back on track?
I think I will try meditating in the morning, if only for a few minutes, before I leave for work. Maybe that will get my mind focused enough by the time I get to work. And just trying to be very mindful and present while doing my paperwork. Making sure I pull all of my charts first thing in the morning, it has to be a habit. And making sure I have my favorite pen!
Meanwhile I am wondering if my back will ever be the same- and I think not- although I have had periods of time in the past when I had a lot of back pain before. I think I am overdoing my extension exercises, and that is causing new pains to crop up- so I have had to back off some. Fortunately I am tolerating the flexion exercises pretty well. Hopefully I will be discharged from PT next week.
I was thinking today that I am so glad I made the transition to becoming a hand therapist. If I was still having to transfer max assist CVA patients on a daily basis- as I did when I worked inpatient- it would not be good. But given what I do, I can be having a pretty bad day with my back and still be able to do my job- I just watch how I do certain things and stand up a lot. If I was still doing inpatient if would be a disability.
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So at this point I cannot recommend PT for the ankle issue.....We'll see what the ortho says but I've had 2 weeks of PT and 2 falls. Last night I fell down the stairs after my ankle gave out at the top. That was 2 days post tx so it wasn't just mad from overdoing. I'm also getting (I think) tendonitis from it). So basically therapy causes more pain (which I know of course can be just part of the process but this doesn't seem to help as the more sore the worse my proprioception and I'm doing all therapy but one thing braced). I am not sure that I didn't break something in my foot last night. I cancelled for today since I couldn't do it and was scheduled for a PTA I'd never met. I see the PT Tuesday for a report to go to ortho with me Wed. If it isn't broken I think I"ve further damaged my calcanotalor ligament which is uncommonly damaged in sprains and seems to have a lot to do with stability; mine was torn previously.
And this time it isn't the PT's fault that I'm failing. (My last failed PT had to do with the therapist not ever seeing me and not noticing that my ankle was inverted and I had no proprioception. This place is EXCELLENT. I am completely impressed every time I go.My PT is a pretty new grad and he is still extremely good as is every therapist I've watched.
I've thought how fortunate I am not to be working right now. I couldn't lift or walk anyone that I felt had any balance impairment. When I tore this up I was in the nursing home and had to have help for 8 weeks with all lifts and ambulation and it was a huge pain. It would have been really hard in home health.
And as it is I'm not going to get to go to watch my niece's (ok, really niece but the baby enjoys eating grass), do their Easter egg hunt because I can't walk on uneven ground at all now.
On the other hand if I thought that I had more to work with than one ligament and a few ligaments that some people have and some don't and some have in one piece and others have in several pieces that don't have a huge role in stability I think this would probably be worth it. If my proprioception would increase it would be great. Doing those exercises is incredibly hard and I can't even do a set of 10 without a break and I need VCs frequently to not compensate. I can see that being really helpful and probably it will be after surgery. If I can have surgery. If not life is going to get really boring; I can't keep falling.
Jen
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