No energy today

Today I have just felt tired and lethargic. Maybe it is that virus that is still zapping my voice- but the world seems very gray and blah. I did manage to take my car in for new brakes, do a load of laundry, and a whole lot of back exercises. Otherwise I didn't do much. I napped and watched 3 episodes of "Helix" on demand.

That was the last three episodes of the year! OMG that was a good show, and I can't believe that I have to wait until next year to see what happens next. 

So I guess I could get into something today. I also spent the morning while waiting for my car reading a sci fi book, "Lexicon," that is really good- a really interesting premise. It has been a sci fi day.

I want to go to church tomorrow, but not if I have no voice. If I have no voice, I just don't want to be around anyone. I am tired of trying to talk- and I mean TRYING to talk. As in not succeeding very well. 

Tomorrow is my big shopping day- I have to go to Costco to pick up my Provigil and I will shop while I am there. And I have to get a haircut. I really have to get a haircut. My bangs are in my eyes, it just isn't good. I just wish I looked okay without bangs- because I always go too long between haircuts and then it wouldn't matter so much- but I don't think I do. And the one time I tried to cut my own bangs it didn't turn out very good.

I want to go walking tomorrow- maybe outside, maybe at the gym, I don't know. But I have to exercise. Too much sitting today. And I think that it will feel empowering to walk, too, after all the pain I have had with my back. I still do have some when I first wake up- but it goes away so much faster now. It is nice to know that exercise can fix some things. Yes, I see it in my patients- but it is nice to see it in me!

This morning I did my medicine/supplements for the week- I have this huge pill box that I put everything in. I take a lot of supplements- but I think that, for now, I am totally satisfied with what I am taking. Sometimes I think I want to take more vitamin C and E than is in my multi, but I think you can get too much anti-oxidants and I am already taking a lot of things. The only other supplement I have really thought about is DHEA, but I would only do that if I was having my levels tested- so I would have to find a doctor who would do that. And I am not sure about DHEA. But some studies have found it useful for depression.

In terms of my meds, I am not sure. I am still taking a quarter of a milligram of klonopin at night, in addition to the ambien- I'd like to stop that. I just have to have a few days when I can afford to be really tired from not sleeping well. And I can't seem to find a good time. I was thinking I wanted to stop the ambien- and I realized why- because it looks bad to be taking both ambien and provigil. Although, I was taking ambien before I ever took provigil, and I have taken stimulants before when I was not taking sleeping pills. But some doctors don't want to give you both a stimulant and a benzo or hypnotic. But my doctor is okay with it, so why am I worried? Because I have had a lot of doctors in the past who have given me problems with different things. 

I still haven't figured out my Zyprexa position. Whether I am okay at 5mg or want to try to go lower and if so how long to I wait. I guess there isn't a rush to decide.