Insight

I'm really a homebody- and that is okay. As long as I don't take it too far. I need to get out some, I need some stimulation. But to stay home with a good book- I am really okay with that. I don't need to be trying to be some social butterfly that I am not- nor do I need to judge myself for it. That said, I can take it too far.

But yesterday I spent an enjoyable day reading. What I am reading now is "Wild," the autobiographical book by Cheryl Strayer about backpacking the Pacific Coast Trail. And she literally had me laughing out loud at times, because I knew what she was talking about from my experiences backpacking. Although there is a part of me that is sorry that she wrote the book- because now if I quit my job to backpack the Appalachian Trail (which is my escape fantasy), I will be trendy.

When things are going badly, that is my escape plan. To quit my job and backpack the Appalachian Trail. I really thought that I would some day when I was a teenager- before I spent 6 months in a mental hospital and got put on psych meds. That just no longer seemed like a reasonable dream.

Now I am just so out of shape that it is not a reasonable dream- for the moment. Plus I'd have to quit my job. And then I'd have to find a way to keep my supply of meds coming. I have hiked some of the Appalachian Trail, and sometimes tell myself that I am doing it piecemeal. I will hike the whole thing in sections. But I haven't been that serious about it. The last time I tried to go backpacking it was through federal land and then they had the government shut down- and I had to cancel my trip. And I was so discouraged that I haven't gone again.

I really do have to go to the grocery store, however. It is getting pretty bare in the pantry.