Thursday, January 1, 2015

Superimposing the discrete on the continuous

It is a NEW YEAR. But as far as I know, time is still continuous- the quantum mechanics guys (and gals) haven't managed to make it quantum yet. So we celebrate the turning of a page on the calendar, our man-made boundary. Too often nature gives us a continuum, and that doesn't satisfy man's need for organization, clarity, and meaning.

I think it is that way with mental illness. Mental illness is a metaphor, although not necessarily a bad one- as long as you don't take it too seriously. There are clusters and patterns to human behavior that we try to label- and keep trying with every new version of the DSM. My dyslexia would not have been an issue until humans became literate. In some more spiritual societies, there may be more room for people with hallucinations.

So the last DSM did not acknowledge dysphoric hypomania. I get it. Antidepressants are allowed to trigger hypomania's, but not mania- but in my case they have triggered mania. We can talk about prototypes, but reality is messy. I could say that my mother has schizoaffective disorder plus OCD plus generalized anxiety disorder- or I could say she has her own unique mind.

But it is a new year, and I am just glad for the day off. It is very sunny, which makes it easier to do even household chores. I have been wondering the past few days if I should move south- because it is too depressing to get out of work in the wintertime and have it be dark already. I don't want to do anything, go anywhere, I just want to go home. I wonder how far south I would have to go to have enough daylight at the end of the workday in the winter to make it worth it. Light therapy helps- but isn't the same thing as getting out of work and it being light, so I am willing to go and do something.

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