Thursday, January 15, 2015

Modern Life

I left my purse at work. I didn't realize this until I got home, and I just didn't feel like going back to get it. I hope it is safe. But it also had my phone in it- and I don't have a landline. I couldn't call to have them put it somewhere safe.

I usually use my cell phone as my alarm- but I do have a small travel alarm clock that worked. Mostly I worried that my mom would try to call me, and get worried. She is the only one who would worry if she can't reach me right away.

So last night I decided to venture back into online dating. At least dip my toe in. I keep waiting for my life to be better- I think then I will do it. And then in therapy the other day it hit me- at this rate, I've had my last kiss, I've had sex for the last time... well I'm too young for that. I want to find someone. Even if it takes a while, which I am guessing that it will.

So I put up a profile on the free website, POF. I didn't know what to put for my weight category- there was nothing between a few extra pounds and BBW. So I went with BBW. Which is going to screen out a whole lot of people, but maybe those who it doesn't will be okay with my body. I will probably eventually pay for one or two of the paid sites- but I don't know if I will go with Match or a BBW site.

It is hard to date when you are heavy (thank-you Zyprexa). It is hard to date when you have bipolar. It is hard to date when your body is covered with scars from a past of self-harming. I will try to be light-hearted about it, at least in the beginning.

I actually think I am not a bad catch. Except for when I am deeply depressed. I have been a good girlfriend. I have to remember that.

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