Friday, May 23, 2014

A better day

I slept last night, and this morning I didn't feel drugged. I could function at work- but it was a really busy day. No getting caught up. That will have to happen over the weekend.

I also didn't get that anxious agitated feeling in the afternoon. That was really good. I felt almost back to myself.

I am almost saying, I could live with this. If I just know I need this much Zyprexa, I could live like this. But I am still very hungry. However, I know that it gets better. It is worse in the beginning.

Today I have made better food choices- I have eaten a lot of vegetables. But nothing I have eaten is what my body really wants, which is carbs. I will see how I do tonight.

I think I am going to be much more active. At work, I agreed to sign up for a team- we count our steps for a few weeks, and the team who walks or runs the most steps wins. I just got my pedometer. The contest starts Monday. Maybe I will go for a hike! I am going to walk a lot of steps. I am going to help my team.

And maybe in the process counteract the effects of the Zyprexa.

I don't want to take Zyprexa, or any antipsychotic. I don't want to take so many meds. I want to think there is a better way. And yet, here I am. That seems to be what has fixed me. And really, in the time I was on the lesser dose- I was always surprised at how I wasn't getting much done. It wasn't that much better (other than losing weight).

There is theory, and then there is practice. In theory I wouldn't take Zyprexa. In reality, I do. I just have to deal with it.

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