Sunday, May 4, 2014

Weekends are the hardest time for me

Weekends are unstructured. Everything I do is kind of optional in a way that going to work is not. I have a real problem with initiation, and I don't know to what extent I can blame my meds (but I do). So I tend not to do a lot. And I tend to isolate.

That is what I did this weekend.

I totally act like a depressed person most weekends. I just have a hard time getting myself going and doing things. I need structure.

In a couple of weeks I will be taking pottery lessons on Saturday mornings, which should help.

I think this is the main reason I want to go off my Zyprexa- forget about tardive dyskinesia and diabetes. I imagine that I will somehow have more energy and drive and be able to do things. Am I right or wrong? I have been on it so long, I don't even know. I only know that it didn't always feel this hard to act, to do things. But that was a long time ago. And I don't know if I have gotten into the habits of a depressed person, or just gotten old, or if it is the meds. Or residual depression. Probably some combination of all of the above.

No comments: