Recently I have just felt drained by the end of the day at work. I have felt just exhausted some days, like yesterday. But today I didn't. Then again, I didn't come in early and stay late either like I did yesterday. I also took an eighth of a milligram of klonopin in the afternoon (no coffee), when I typically start to feel anxious. It is sometimes the anxiety itself that can wear me down.
I felt good today. I have interesting patients. I was discussing a patient who has some really devastating injuries going on- and another therapist said to me- "You can help her if anyone can. You like a challenge." And I realized that this is true. I like a good clinical challenge at work. Paperwork challenges are another matter.
I also made a cool splint today I think. I hope it works for her. The first one I tried- a different design- didn't. I was hoping to do something that would give her more hand function but it wasn't enough. So I made a bigger splint- and I hope that the patient doesn't think I am an idiot for trying the other first.
I just hope that I can feel like this other days when I get out of work. Today was a late day- not much time to do anything than grab a salad for a late dinner, watch 30min of news (why do I bother?), and now I'm in bed. But if I can feel like this on my early days, I can maybe start to have a life outside of work on weekdays.
I just joined a reading group on Meetup about political revolutions and revolutionaries. In my original bio that I tried to post, I realized that I almost sounded dangerous. Of course it was too long to be posted- so I kept things pretty general. All the same- I can see this group being a ruse of the CIA, or some government agency, to seek out people interested in revolution. Maybe at the first meeting I should ask all of the government agents to identify themselves!
I am joining the group because I am interested in change. What can be changed? Where? How? How does power work?
America is too big for revolution- it is a lost cause at the moment. When I turned on the news and saw that they are going to have more hearings on Bengahzi, well American politics is a lost cause.