I am "lucky" enough to not have an insurance company making this decision for me- but only because I am seeing a therapist who does not take insurance. I am paying out of pocket, until I meet my high out of network deductible, and then will hopefully get reimbursed a little bit.
Last week I went to my therapist appointment- and had this feeling that I wasn't sure I needed to be there. I haven't had that feeling in a long time.
Usually when I quit therapy it is because I move (if it is a good therapist, but that is rare)- usually I quit because it is not helpful, and I don't think my therapist is very good. And usually that has been the case because I have tried to use "in-network" therapists, and it just never has worked out very well. So much of the past 9 years that I have been working I have only been in short periods of therapy, and then quit. I have had some extraordinarily bad ones!
This time I went out of network, and it was worth it. I like her, and she has been helpful. But how much longer? Is it therapy forever?
I think that a part of me is afraid to stop, because I am doing well, for the first time in years. I don't want to rock the boat. If I am not stopping my meds- if meds are forever- why not therapy? But I don't think that therapy is forever, at least for me. Unfortunately I do think that meds are forever for me- but not necessarily for everyone.
Maybe it is time to go down to every other week.
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