What got me to the yoga mat?

I saw my therapist a couple of nights ago and told her that I wanted to cut down to every other week. She agreed that I was doing much better. And she said that she thought that one of the reasons I was doing so well is that I am doing yoga now.

And I think it is true, it is helping. But what got me to the yoga mat? I have been saying for years that I wanted to do it regularly. And I didn't. Every now and then I would manage to drag myself to a class, never to return. It was only after this latest round of med increases that I was able to get myself there regularly. I think that the meds helped tremendously, and I hate to admit it- because it is the two meds that I really didn't want to be on- lithium and Zyprexa.

I don't think it is only the meds. I think it is also that I have finally studied for and passed a certification exam that was hanging over me for years. It is the DBT skills that I have learned. It is having rewarding work. But I had all that in the months before the med increase, and I was still miserable and paralyzed. And then finally, I was able to get myself there. It was really hard in the beginning to get myself there in the beginning, but I could do it. And I kept going.

So I have to give the meds a little credit. As well as me, for "taking up the slack," and using the space the meds gave me to push a little further into life. Because the meds don't get you there. You still have to push.