I can't deal with the anxiety anymore

I have some things going on that are very anxiety provoking. I hoping that they are time limited, and that I just have to get through the next couple of months. A lot of it is my own making- things that I didn't do because I was depressed, etc. Anyway, I have been struggling with depression and anxiety the past week. The depression is much better now that my GI symptoms are better, but my anxiety is even worse. I can't deal with it - today I actually got paralyzed at work.

I am going back up on the Zyprexa, at least until these anxiety-provoking things are finished. I really liked needed a little less sleep, not thinking about food all of the time, and having a little more energy. But then there was the insomnia and the paralysis from anxiety. And summer was a stupid time to cut back, anyway. That should be a winter thing to try- when my energy tends to be lower and sleeping is easier. It was also a stupid thing to do so close to the Effexor dose decrease- I just got cocky. That went so easy. But now I don't know what is causing what- although I think it is more likely the Zyprexa than the Effexor.

So I am home and took the increased Zyprexa- back up to 7.5mg, and I feel so much better. Well, it is enough to spring on my psychiatrist next month that I am down on 1 drug. Now I don't have to tell him that I am down on two. I'll talk to him about wanting to eventually go down to 5mg again. I don't know why I have that number in my head. Well, in part because at 5mg the hunger gets better.

I didn't check my mail today. He is supposed to have mailed me a script for bloodwork. He really didn't seem concerned about the lithium level- he said I am on the low end. But he is not the one who has had lithium toxicity, serotonin syndrome, agranulocytosis, and I'm just getting started. If I had had that drug-induced seizure (interaction between nortriptyline and prozac) while driving, and not at work, I might not be alive.