A lot of people (and sometimes myself included) seem to think that if you have your depression at bay enough to do X, then you should have no trouble doing Y. Well, maybe. But doing both X and Y may be asking too much.
So people who see me get to work on time and treat patients might think that I have no trouble with taking a shower (or sometimes even brushing my teeth) in the morning. And many days, they would be wrong. Some days it is hard enough to get myself out of bed and out the door. And I wind up asking myself- do I want clean hair or to get to work on time? I can't have both today.
And so I am loving the dry shampoo that I can just spray in my hair and wait a couple of minutes and brush it through and then I am good to go. I have bought myself another day before I have to take a shower. There is something about the thought of taking a shower- I don't know what it is- that does not mix well with depression. And it really is never bad once I get in the shower, I just think that it is going to be.
Anyway, no shower this morning, but I did make it to work on time. I also forgot to take my morning meds- I didn't have any food for breakfast, I was going to stop a Smoothie King for a smoothie. I forgot to pack my meds. I felt kind of strange today, but really not so bad. I did have my provigil with me.
Tomorrow I start my half-marathon training. I am really taking it on faith that I can do this. I have a bad ankle and in recent years a bad hip- which I think stems from the ankle. I walk with my foot very slightly turned in- and when I make myself walk with my food turned out, no hip pain. I am very overweight. I am hoping that the training does not make things worse, only better, as my body adapts to it. It remains to be seen. I know I need to be very slow in my milage progression.
I have found my first race. It is a great one for walkers- a 7 hour time window! They use the marathon time window for the half-marathon as well. It is about a three and a half hour drive away from me. It is in December, the day after my birthday.
Tomorrow I walk 3 miles. It should be a piece of cake after the 10K. Except that I am having a flare-up of my irritable bowel syndrome. That has me worried. I may have to change where I planned to walk to a park that has a bathroom. It has been really bad recently- even since my trip over July 4th.