Monday, July 21, 2014

I'm a believer

Breakfast was low FODMAPs, and I did well. Lunch was not 100% compliant, and I felt the consequences- but it wasn't too bad. And then dinner was 100% compliant again, and my bowels have been happy- even though it was my largest meal of the day.

It will just really suck if I have to live the rest of my life this way. But one day at a time. That is all that I have to worry about.

It is a lot more restrictive than the MAOI diet, and I am having a hard time finding things that I can eat that doesn't involve too much time in the kitchen. I have figured out a breakfast, a lunch, and a dinner that I can make without too much trouble. But that is it- one breakfast, one lunch, and one dinner. I haven't figured out more than that. I will eventually want variety. And I will eventually want Moo Shoo Pork with my beloved cabbage, but that is another issue.

From what I have been reading- I think I probably have bacterial overgrowth of the small intestine. It matches symptoms, and is a frequent finding in IBS. The short term cure is antibiotics- but it is a short term cure. The long term cure is probiotics and dietary change- actually I don't know if this is cure or management.

Otherwise, my apartment is the cleanest it has been in a while. My landlord had to come in today to let the electrician in, so I did some last minute desperate cleaning. Other people keep us civilized. Left to my own devices I let things go. That is kind of what spurred my to get my hair cut last week- my boss made a comment about how long it was, and was I growing it out or just hadn't gone to get it cut.

I need more social interaction, I know. I have just been derailed recently because GI symptoms of that severity do not mix well with social interaction. Fortunately at work it is easy to slip to the bathroom- I have had jobs where that was not the case.

I think I a postponing my half marathon. I didn't start training. There is one in March near my brother I want to do. I want to get out of a trip coming up- I think I made a mistake agreeing to go. I don't even have my passport yet but it may be too late. I have realized that sometimes I over reach.

It is okay to make commitments- as long as I can get out of them, as long as they won't too greatly influence other people. I have to be flexible. And listen to my gut, when my gut says no.

And yet, I don't know that. Everything I have is because I took a leap of faith, and did what didn't feel possible at the time- but I just knew there had to be something better than where I was. So it is confusing. When do I jump? When do I say no? I haven't figured it out yet.

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