Saturday, October 12, 2013

Knowing this has absolutely nothing to do with meds

I've stayed home the past two days. I've done some cleaning, which is good, but mostly done nothing. I've isolated. I'm lonely. I can't get going.

I came home early from backpacking, so I had no structure to the rest of my vacation- and I can't get myself together. All that will change Monday morning, when life gets back to normal, but until then I am off.

I have plans for tomorrow- but I didn't keep my plans for today. I don't know if it makes sense to even have them. Will I get myself going?

I need a certain amount of structure, I know that. And I am also disappointed in my trip. And now disappointed in myself, my life. I'm not good left to my own devices for too long. I do need my down time, my alone time, but there has to be a limit to it. And I have passed that limit.

I am diligently doing my light therapy, so hopefully I have the seasons thing under control, as much as it ever is.

I just have to get myself to overcome this inertia. I need to get out of my apartment tomorrow. Walk or hike. Go to church. Visit my dad. Go grocery shopping. Those are all good plans. All doable. I just have to do it, and get out of bed.

No comments: