I am feeling depressed and lonely. I'm really feeling bad. I hate this. I hate the not knowing. Is this temporary. Is this a sign that lowering my meds recently was a bad idea. Is this just a bad day, what. I hate having to analyze my moods. I just want to be.
I used to have the 3 day rule, and I should try to stick to it. It has be be 3 bad days before I worry, before I examine meds, change light therapy, etc. I have 3 days to just deal with it and hope it goes away on its own. Sometimes I've had to act a little faster with a mania, but with a depression I can usually wait 3 days before things get too out of hand. So I wait.
I am in bed- I keep thinking I want to nap, but then I can't. I just want to lie here.
Ice cream would be nice. But I only have healthy food around. Damn. What is the connection between ice cream and depression? I don't know. That is what I want to eat when I am depressed. Otherwise I hardly ever let myself eat it. And when I am depressed, I am usually too depressed to go to the store to get it anyway.
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