Friday, June 6, 2014

A new theory

It's the melatonin. And I'm an idiot for not listening to myself, and listening to my step-mother.

I have taken small amounts of melatonin in the past. I had hoped it would help with sleep. I liked the fact that it seemed protective against breast cancer- and I haven't had kids, so I an at higher risk. And more recent research suggests that it may help protect against tardive dyskinesia.

The problem is, every time I took it, my mood didn't seem as good. I felt more depressed. Every time I told a psychiatrist, they told me that melatonin didn't cause depression, that in fact it was good for depression. But I still stopped it each time I tried it. Plus, it didn't make me sleep.

So now my step mother found an article that found that 5 mg of melatonin reduces antipsychotic weight gain. And she is really pushing it. I tell her about my fears of depression, but she says that she never heard that, and that I should try it.

Then two weeks ago I reconcile myself about going back up on the Zyprexa. I know I am going to gain back the weight I just lost. I am still not sleeping without klonopin, which I don't want to take. So I decide, why not? And I add 3 mg of melatonin (way higher than anything I have ever taken in the past), to my mix. And now the depression- a really anxious, irritable, depression- is back. I decide it is just a bounce out of the hypomania that I was in. But maybe not- maybe it was the melatonin.

Unfortunately I just took my meds- and I just took my melatonin. But that is the last I will take of it. Afterall, I still needed the klonopin to sleep. It didn't get me off of that.

With an n of 1, there are always too many variables to really figure out what is going on. Just best guesses. And my guess is that the melatonin is not a good thing.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

My sister who is drug sensitive but not bipolar told me that melatonin causes depression or agitation for her (can't remember which). The last thing she told me about (CoQwhatever) it was prececisely as she told me and I wished I hadn't tried it. I was manic in 2 days. So melatonin is something I have in the house but haven't ever taken because of that.

I hope you are feeling better.